Donna Summers Dead 03

Donna Summer Photos

The economy is hitting us hard. (How many people reading this just said, "No kidding", or some other expletive?) I'll deal with you later. Right now, it's important to realize that the economy is hurting big business, as well as the little "Mom and Pop" stores. And, if mom and pop don't get paid, then the kids don't get their allowances and then they protest by refusing to do their chores and if the kids don't do their chores, we'll be stuck taking out the garbage ourselves. Something needs to be done. But, I digress.

Donna Summer Photos

The point I'm trying to make is that many businesses are trying to get you to do trade with them by offering specials, sales and discounts. How far will this go? A funeral home in the northeast, realizing the high cost of funerals, is offering discounts, in order to deal with their competitors. But, I'm thinking, enough is enough (Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer, 1979). How can you possibly cut back on a funeral? Well, here are ten ways to tell that you are at a "no-frills" funeral.

Donna Summer Photos

The clergy performing the ceremony is dressed in a lavender, velour sweat suit.

Donna Summer Photos

The organist, playing spiritual melodies, has been replaced by a deejay spinning non-stop Grateful Dead tunes.

Donna Summer Photos

Several of the handles on the casket have broken off and have been replaced with strong pieces of Kemp.

Donna Summer Photos

The makeup on the deceased has apparently been applied by a graduate of The Clown College.

Donna Summer Photos

Instead of embalming fluid, the body has been preserved by using a mixture of Knox gelatin and peanut butter.

Donna Summer Photos

Donna Summer Photos